I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We left the knife in your bed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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