Welp...herpes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
