Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Randomize
