Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am one with the molecules
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize