We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
