I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
