It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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