you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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