i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
