What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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