It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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