Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
