He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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