There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
