Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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