Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
