Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
