Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just forgot I was standing up.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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