well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
