If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't deserve a penis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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