I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
