I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize