I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
