i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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