My friends, they love my intelligence
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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