So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
