My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I color on your dick again?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
