My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
