Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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