one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
