I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sarcasm needs its own font
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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