They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize