Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
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