party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
