i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
