So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
