His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
