then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
