I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
