Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
