Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
