Yo dont text me then not text me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
