I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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