Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish they made helmets for livers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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