Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
