why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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