i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
