I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
