and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sext me about skeletons
i think im in europe. pls send help
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
