we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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