yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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