I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I party with great urgency now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
