Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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