I could have mohawked her pubes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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