what day is it and did you see me today?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
