the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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