But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
