you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
