i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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