Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
