he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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