You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
