I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I understand Curling. That high.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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