Ambien. No doubt about it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
