This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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