You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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