who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Vodka?
Forever.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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