ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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