that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
