you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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