I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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