Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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