I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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