She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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