THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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