dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the day after is always just damage control
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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