I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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